Why women can’t approach first
I was asked a question by a man recently—about why women can’t approach first.
The answer is nonobvious and nontrivial.
Women who want sex, which is most women, don’t want to continue chasing sex forever. They don’t want to spend all their mental energy finding somebody to have sex with.
Imagine a woman who takes a man’s hand, and leads him to the club bathroom to fuck.
What is the chance that he will call her the next day? The chance isn’t low or high—we just have no idea. It’s completely random. We know absolutely nothing about this person. No checks have been performed.
Likely, the man thought that he was getting no-strings-attached sex, and will get weird when the woman wants to meet up again. He might act extra aloof to “not lead her on.” No flowers, nothing too intense or too romantic. Later, the guy may act straight-up entitled, weird, or mean. It ends up being an incoherent, cruel waste of time.
What can a woman do, if not ask for sex? She can doll herself up, walk into a room, and ask a man to help her reach the glass on the top shelf. A woman can come over, gently stroke a man’s shoulders, and walk away.
Now, the man has to prove at least basic interest and basic competence at picking up her signals in order to have sex with her. He has to “get” that the handkerchief was meant for him, and have sufficient interest to play along with the game.
This is where RedPill is wrong. Not all of women’s tests are pointless shit tests for the most alpha male. The tests like the handkerchief test are to see not if a man is alpha, but if a man can dance. They are tests for not if the man is dominant, but if he can smooth down his overt dominant frame to actually play with her.
Because this is important: men are dangerous. Men who cannot put down their aggression to notice her charms and play around with her for a bit will almost certainly not put down their frame for something as sophisticated as caring for her when she is upset or hurt. Forget about tenderness, soft kisses in the rain, birthday presents, cuddles with her and the kiddies, or any other softness from him.
Men are dangerous, and women are typically soft, cute, happy fluffy things. The general feminine position is generally to be open and full of love, and let good things come. But there is no shortage of aggressive corpse-men looking to suck the life out of a happy creature. There is no shortage of vampires on the earth. A woman who walks around giving away everything she has to everyone who asks will soon burn out completely—because everybody wants what she has. Nobody is not going to want a happy cute fun soft time, but not everybody is willing to get off their ass to actually help her be comfortable.
So when a woman puts herself out there and approaches first, she is not just putting herself in a vulnerable social position on the “social stigma, slut shaming,” front—but on a much deeper level too.
And this relates to what women want in a partner. Can you be my champion in the world and defend me from all these pigs and vultures who want to pick at my goodness and innocence?
And that's where women become a contradiction, and don't go for the Good man. They want a good man, who is competent and skilled and not a pig or a vulture, but ultimately, they want a champion to do battle, and if that means picking a vulture on her side, versus a Good man....well....she'll pick the vulture.
A woman would pick the most competent person who can navigate and get along with other men the best, but also who likes her the most and likes her for the right reasons. Because that will mean he will want to protect her and can protect her. And, ostensibly, her children.
Most men and most women know that completely no-strings-attached sex is a lie. At the very least, a string is not making each other feel horrible, and not being dangerous to each other. This is why there are these tests.